im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i think my cat just said my name.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize