so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
