if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
