the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
