Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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