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• (415): View more from California

  I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota

  (415): View more from California

  everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.

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• (716): View more from New York

  You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.

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• (718): View more from New York

  Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight

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• (951): View more from California

  Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours

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