Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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