then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
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If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal