After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
3pm strippers are depressing
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...