So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
