If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
vagina is talking i cant
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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