I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize