apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize