Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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