Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
