I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I want a musical about memes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
