U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
