I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
