would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
