I can text with my tongue
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize