On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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