You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
