I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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