I hope mine doesn't look like that
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
