and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
