Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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