yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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