He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Drake has all the answers
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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