I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
