you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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