I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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