i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
