dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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