I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
