what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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