I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
