so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Someone signed my nipple.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
