a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Your penis caused this!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
