Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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