I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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