My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
