A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
