Non-Jews are for practice
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
