You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize