escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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