Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
