This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
