No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
