those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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