my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
