He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
