Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
