mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
