it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
