didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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