When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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