my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
