you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
