i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
