i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
