one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
