I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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